Soldiers of the Air, October 6, 1041

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Series 2 number 9 of a weekly radio program that aired on Portland radio station KOIN. This week's program follows recruiter, Bill "Butch" Harris, as he convinces a musician to enlist into the army.

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UNITED STATES ARMY RECRUITING SERVICE

Oct. 6, 1941

KOIN 10:15 P.M.

SOLDIERS OF THE AIR

ANNCR: KOIN presents------------Soldiers of the Air

MUSIC: THEME "SECOND CONNECTICUT REGIMENT" (475) UP AND FADE TO BACK-

GROUND

ANNCR: This evening KOIN is pleased to cooperate with the United States

Army Recruiting Service in presenting another chapter in the

life of Sergeant Harris, soldier of the air.

MUSIC: THEME UP AND OUT

ANNCR: Even on days when no special orders have come to Sergeant Harris,

he finds that the life of a recruiting sergeant is never dull.

Sergeant Harris has recruited bunkers, cooks, radio operators, aviators, and mechanics, but he has never yet signed up a musician for a three year hitch of tootling for the Army. However, there is always a first time, so ---- let's listen -----

SOUND: TELEPHONE BELL

BILL: Army Recruiting Service. Sergeant Harris speaking.

VOICE: (VIA TELEPHONE) Hello, Sergeant Harris. This is Major Brown, of

the Portland Air Base. My nephew, Charles Brown, is on his way to see you ---

BILL: You mean to see me, Major Brown, or to see Colonel Hensley?

BROW: (EMPHATICALLY) I mean you'. That young nephew of mine already has

an exaggerated opinion of himself. You talk to him as you would to any ordinary recruit.

BILL: Yes, sir'.

BRCWN: And remember, the next time I see that nephew of mine, I want to

see him in a uniform of the regular army'.

BILL: Yes, sir, Major Brown'.

SOUND:

CLICK OF TELEPHONE RECEIVER

BILL: Did you hear that, Sergeant Lawrence?

LAWRENCE: No, what was it?

BILL: Major Brown just phoned that he is sending his nephew down to see us.

LAWRENCE: Well, what are we supposed to do about it?

BILL: We're supposed to enlist him'. It seems he thinks rather too well of himself, from whut Major Brown says

LAWRENCE: Sergeant Bill Harris, the ego-buster, will now gallop into action

BILL: (INTERRUPTING) Oh, lay off, will you? Besides here comes Charley

LAWRENCE: Is his name Charley?

BILL: That's what the Major said. (PAUSE) Here, take the phone while I turn psychiatrist here ho comes

LAWRENCE: (CHUCKLING) O.K., Sergeant Harris. (FADING) I’ll take the head- phones and you take the headaches

BILL: Hello, there, Charley, we've been expecting you.

CHARLEY: (ASTONISHED) Hello, yourself'. (FADING IN) Any law against an outsider looking into your crystal ball?

BILL: (EQUALLY ASTONISHED) Crystal ball? Wat crystal ball?

CHARLEY: You know crystal ball — that funny little round object that you gaze into when you wmit to know the future

BILL: But I don't want to know the future I

CHARLEY: Well, strangely enough, Sergeant, I do. (PAUSE) So, if you've got a crystal ball that is smart enough to tell you that I was coming up here, when I didn't know it myself five minutes ago — then I want to look into it. I could do with a little crystal gazing myself at the moment '.

2-2-2

BILL: (BEGINNING TO SEE THE FUNNY SIDE OF THE CONVERSATION) Well, Charley, I'm sorry, but the Army Recruiting Service is fresh out of crystal balls. However, you'll find we're pretty good on predicting a man's future once he enlists with the regular army. Now, take you, for instance

CHARLEY: (WARILY) Oh, no, you don't! You don’t take me. I'm twenty-eight

BILL: Twenty-eight, eh? And so you don't have to serve your country. (PERSUASIVELY) You cun volunteer, you know, up until you are thirty-six.

CHARLEY: Sure, I could. But I'm not going to. (PAUSE) Say, — how'd we get off on this track? I didn't come up here to talk about enlisting. I came up here to borrow something

BILL: (LAUGHING) Borrow something? We're not in the lending game. You're thinking of Cohen, down the street

CHARLEY: (WEARILY) I’ve been to Cohen. He hasn't got one. I've been to every pawn shop in town, and there just naturally aren't any Soldier's medals in hock.

BILL: (NON*PLUSSED) Soldier's Medal'. In hock'.

CHARLEY: Sure, — sure — sure — don't run a temperature over it!

BILL: (STERNLY) Charley, do you know what a soldier's medal is?

CHARLEY: (PATRONIZINGLY) Sure, — sure — it's a little scrap of metal with a pretty ribbon on it ■

BILL: Charley -- if you weren't Major Brown’s nephew — I'd forget I'm a soldier and punch you right in the nose '.

CHARLEY: Major Brown's nephew’. Me? That’s a laugh!

BILL: (ASTONISHED) Aren’t you Major Brown's nephew, Charley Brown? He phoned me you were coming up to see me.

CHARLEY: No, I'm not Charley Brown. I'm Charley Charley Clay

ever hear of me?

3-3-3

BILL: Charley Clay Hm-m-m Not Good Timo Charley Clay, the dance band loader?

CHARLEY: (PROUDLY) That’s me'. Good Time Charley

BILL: (PENSIVELY AS IF TO HIMSELF) Good time Charley —- Gosh, what a break for the army if you'd enlist

CHARLEY: Sure, it would be a break for the army But what about me?

BILL: (VERY FRIENDLY AND AFFABLE) Look, Charley, — I'm curious — just as man to man, — what would you consider a break for yourself?

CHARLEY: (LAUGHING BUT DEFENSIVE) Oh, I know what you're getting at, but I’ll string along with you. I'll tell you what I consider a break, a break is something a guy figures out for himself a smart move, see, sind then he just naturally goes and does what he's figured out.

BILL: Do you mind telling me was that what you were doing when you came up here trying to borrow a Soldier's Medal?

CHARLEY: Sure. I'm in a spot. I need u soldier's uniform and a soldier's medal to get me out of the squeeze. So, naturally I'm trying to pick up a uniform and a medal — and by the way, -- if it hadn't been for Major Brown I wouldn't be in a jam

BILL: So, — Major Brown is mixed up in this too?

CHARLEY: He sure is'. If it hadn't been for him no if it hadn't been for my brother

BILL: Your brother?

CHARLEY: Yes, my twin brother, — Cordell Clay. If it hadn't been for him being so darn noble -- if it hadn't been for his getting a soldier's medal — and if Major Brown hadn't happened to see the ceremony when Cordell got it — (SUDDENLY DEADLY SER'IOUS AND WORRIED) Look, here, Sergeant Harris, — there's a lot of things

I don't believe in.

4-4-4

(CONT'd)

CHARLEY:

BILL:

CHARLEY:

BILL:

CHARLEY:

BILL:

CHARLEY:

BILL:

CHARLEY:

Most of this life is hokum — pure hokum. — but my brother

Cordell is different. He’s the pure McCoy. I believe in him.

And now he’s in jail and the only way I can protect him is to borrow a uniform and a medal and curry on until he gets out of jail '.

Jail; Your twin brother, Cordell, the guy that earned a soldier's medal is in jail?

That’s right, Cordell is in jail. Over in Yakima — but they don’t know who he is and they're not going to find out. He got in a fight — and they think he hit a guy I If the guy dies, it may go hard with Cordell. If the guy gets well, he'll alibi my brother because Cordell didn't do it. I know he didn't I In a few days they'll find the guy that did. Then they’ll release Cordell and I'll fade out of the picture and no harm done. You mean that until he is released you want to masquerade as Cordell, is that it?

That’s right. There isn’t any sense in anyone finding out about this little --- er --- skirmish.

But, if your twin brother, Cordell, is in jail in Yakima, I don't seo what you are worrying about hero in Portland. Nobody here will know about it.

(LAUGHING BITTERLY) That's what you think'. Major Brown will know about it. Do you think I'm going to let anyone in the army know Cordell is in jail-----

But how will Major Brown know it?

(PATIENTLY) Look, Sergeant Harris, — Cordell and I are identical twins. You couldn't tell me from him in a your of Sundays by looking at us. I'm out west on a vacation, looking over these defense centers with an eye to winter business. 5-5-5

(CONT'd)

CHARLEY: Someone's going to take the money these soldiers get and it might us well be Good Time Charley and his orchestra. And whut happens — what happens

BILL: Well, what docs happen?

CHARLEY: This Major Brown rims into me on the street. He was so tickled to see me I thought he was going to kiss me. Kept pumping my hand and blabbing about my soldier's medal and what a hero I was that time to save my comrades from a burning plane

BILL: I see He thought you were Cordell.

CHARLEY: I tried to tell him I was myself but he wouldn't listen. Just kept talking about how glad he was to see me out west, and was I on leave or had I served my hitch and wouldn't I be glad to dash out to his house and play the piano like I did that time at Camp Dix for the boys?

BILL: And did you?

CHARLEY: Did I what?

BILL: Dash out to his house and play the piano?

CHARLEY: No, I got cut of that, — but I got into a worse mess. It seems that some of the guys that I -- that is that Cordell — served with back at Fort Dix, have been transferred out here to the Air Base and they'd like to have me come out. (BITTERLY) Nothing will do but I must trot out to the Recreation Hall tomorrow and have a reunion with my buddies — play the piano while they sing the old songs and Oh — what's the use?

BILL: You figure that if you could masquerade as a soldier for a few days you'd be doing your twin brother a good turn, is that it?

CHARLEY: (IMPATIENTLY) TJhat do you think I've been talking about, soldier? < These guys believe he's a hero with a medal. Do you think I'm going to lot them find out Cordell's in jail — even if he isn't guilty? 6-6-6

BILL: I see and these other guys -- the buddies -- what about them?

CHARLEY: Well, what about them? They’ll never knew the difference?

BILL: And if they de find out you are masquerading -- what then? What effect would it have on them?

CHARLEY: What do you mean?

BILL: Oh, nothing, except well fellows don't like to have someone they believe turn out to be a phony

CHARLEY: That’s their hard luck',

BILL: You don't care much about the other follow, do you, Charley?

CHARLEY: Only when the other fellow is my twin brother, Cordell« He's noble enough for the two of us Nov/, tell me, do I get the medal and the uniform?

BILL: No, and No

CHARLEY: What do you mean, no and no?

BILL: (DEADLY SERIOUS) I mean just this: No man should wear the uniform of the United States Army unless he deserves to wear it

CHARLEY: (INTERRUPTING) O.K. — O.K. —

BILL: Every man who wears a uniform of the United States Army is proclaiming that he is willing to give of himself, — of his time — his talent -- of whatever he has — so that the other fellows in this country may live in freedom and happiness. (./ITH RISING INDIGNATION) But you — why — you —

CHARLEY: Relax, Sergeant. You forget your blood pressure '. (PAUSE) If that's the way you feel about it, I'll toddle out to the Air Base tomorrow night in civilian clothes. I'll get by — I'll fool Major Brown and those soldier buddies of Cordell's — uniform or no uniform

BILL: (KINDLY) Well, I don't wish you any bad luck, but — wel|, those fellows out at the Air Base are a pretty intelligent lot, you know -- and Major Brown isn't exactly a fool 7-7-7

CHARLEY: Neither am I. When I give them Good Time Charley’s version of

SOUND:

JaCK:

DON:

CHARLEY:

JACK:

DON:

JACK:

CHARLEY:

JaCK:

DON:

CHARLEY:

DON:

CHARLEY:

JACK:

Loch Lomond --- (FADING) they'll forget everything else -----

PIANO INTERPRETATION OF LAST FEW MEASURES OF "LOCH LOMOND" IN

BOOGIE YiOOGIE

APPLAUSE

Gosh, Cordell, that was swell I Now play us another one------

something more like you used to play back at Fort Dix -----

Sure, like that Tchuikowsky Concerto in D Minor -- you know —

You follows sure are fools for punishment Here I been playing for an hour and you keep yelling for more ■—

Sure, — we like it. (PAUSE) Of course, we were sort of astonished when you started playing boogie-woogie ---- You never used to do

that, Cordell.

You sure didn't'. Gosh, don't you remember how mud you got once when you heard that Tchuikowsky Concerto played by a dunce bund -----

(INTERRUPTING) Sa-ay', Come to think about it, — it was your brother, Good Time Charley's Bund — remember? He was sure in the groove.

Yeh — he's pretty good, isn't he?

Oh, he's all right, I guess, if you like that kind of fellow.

Sure, Good Time Charley's O.K., — but —

But what?

Well, — look, Cordell, — he's your brother and all that, but

he isn't like you at all.

How's he different from me?

Well, being his twin brother, you probably wouldn’t notice it.

But Charley is a phoney, Cordell. He's always thinking of

himself. He never does anything that doesn't bring Charley right

up front and center — with his had out for the dough. And he

gets a glad hand from the public all the time he's taking their

money.

8-8-8

CHARLEY:

DON:

CHARLEY:

DON:

CHARLEY:

JACK:

CHaRLEY:

DON:

CHARLEY:

DON:

JACK:

CHARLEY:

SOUND:

CHARLEY:

DON:

CHARLEY:

(DEFENSIVELY) Aw, — Charley's not such a bad egg.

Sure, we know'. There's nothing crooked about him. He's just looking out for Charley. Look, Cordell — what’s he doing right now -■—

Y[hy — er — why — he:s — he's trying to work up a winter schedule for his dunce bund.

Uh-huh'. Vihat'd I tell you'. He's out right now trying to figure out ways to get a soldier's nickels, when he ought to be in the army just like you, Cordell.

You forget, my hitch is up. That’s how I come to be vut west vacationing.

'Hell, you were in the army, and I’ll bet a dime you re-enlist'. I don't know — but I wish you guys thought a little better of Charley — he’s not so bud -----

Oh, let's forget Charley. Come on, Cordell, let's have some real music now. Ye're tired of your new brand of hot stuff. Forget this syncopation and give us that Tschaikowsky Concerto in D Minor.

(EVASIVELY) But honest, fellows, I'm tired — I —

Come on, — come on — just this one more —

Gosh, you've sure changed, Cordell. It used to be you never wanted to quit ----

Oh well, — you asked for it 1 Now see if you cun take it'.

CRASHING CORDS AND THEN S'/ING VERSION OF TSCHnlKOHSKY CONCERTO

IN DISCORDS

(ANGRILY) Well, why don't you say something?

(ViiUIETLY) I guess there isn't much to say — (SARCASTICALLY) Oh, I know what you’re all thinking — but you haven't got nerve enough to say it'.

9-9-9

JACK: That's where you’re wrong. Mister Good Time Charley'. VTe've got plenty of nerve, but not the kind you can understand.

CHARLEY: Try me, — I might surprise you'.

JACK: O.K., Good Time Charley, -- this time you are asking for it; (PAUSE) You pretty near had us fooled with your smooth talk and your swing music. Ne thought you were Cordell. But you’re a phoney — just us you always have been

DON: And always will be. Once a phoney — always a phoney'.

CHARLEY: You guys are pretty tough on a fellow, aren’t you?

<J AC K: 17e aren't half us tough as Cordell will be when he finds out you've been playing jokes on us’.

CHARLEY: Maybe Cordell won't find out

JACK: Maybe not. After all he's too good a friend for us to make him unhappy by telling what you are really like.

DON: That's right, Jack. I reckon we’d be the lust two men to say or do anything to hurt Cordell. After all, we're the two whose lives he saved

CHARLEY: (HUMBLY) You mean, you two fellows, Jack and Don, are the ones he saved from that burning plane — the time they gave him the Soldier's Medal

DON: Sure, — me and Jack.

JACK: (EXCITEDLY) That’s it'. That's it'. The soldier' s medal. If you aren't a phoney — if you really are Cordell -- let's see your medal '.

CHARLEY: I — I Oh, what's the use? You know as well as I do that I haven't got a Soldier's Medal

JACK: (EXULTINGLY) Uh-huh'. Tihat'd I say, Don?

DON: (AS IF TO JACK ONLY) 'Veil, of course, before you can earn a Soldier’s Medal, you have to be u soldier.

10-10-10

JACK: Yes, and before you can be a soldier you have to have in you a

little of that stuff that's mentioned on the Soldier's Medal —

CHARLEY: What stuff's that?

JACK: The words inscribed on the Soldier's Medal that Cordell, your

brother, earned — arc: For Valor.

CHARLEY: And you men don't think I8ve got any of that — any valor in me,

— is that it?

DON: (SPECULATIVELY) Well, Good Time Charley -- we wouldn't know.

Not until we'd see you in a soldier’s uniform'.

JACK: Or maybe we’d be able to judge if we heard your dance band

playing a swing version of the Stars and Stripes Forever '.

(FADING) But, of course — there's not much chance of that ------

SOUND: OFF MIKE BAND PLAYING "STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER". CONTINUE AS

BACKGROUND AND FaDE IN AS CONVERSATION CONTINUES.

BILL: Hey, Sergeant Lawrence, do you hear what I hear?

LAURENCE: Sounds like a parade. At any rate I hear band music.

BILL: I didn’t know there was any kind of a parade scheduled for today.

Look out the window and see what it's all about -----

LAURENCE: (FADING TO DISTANCE) I'll give a look. (PAUSE) I don't see anything yet, — but — that's funny.

BILL: What's funny?

LAURENCE: (STILL OFF MIKE) It looks like a college rally or something. Some kind of a band — a lot of young fellows in civilian clothes playing like mud and a lot of other folks following them down the street --------------

BILL: Probably some advertising stunt.

LAURENCE: (FADING IN) Yes, more than likely. Good idea too. Nothing like

good music to get folks interested.

BILL: Yes, — we could use a few more bands in the army, eh?

11-11-11

LAWRENCE: Say, -- that music is getting closer. Sounds like it was coming

right up the stairs'. (WITH GROWING INTEREST) That band is coming up the stairs Now, what in thunder-------

LAWRENCE: Hey, — look'. It's that fellow who was up here yesterday'.

BILL: Good Time Charley Clay

LAWRENCE: And his whole band I

SOUND: BAND PLAYING "STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER" IN LOUD AND AFTER A FEW

SECONDS CUT ABRUPTLY

CHARLEY: O.K., fellows. Put down your instruments and got out your pens'.

BILL: What's it all about, Charley? sfhy the serenade?

CHARLEY: We've come after that medal I talked to you about.

BILL: Going to take it by force?

CHARLEY: (LAUGHING) Nope'. We're going to charm it With music, — you

know'.

BILL: (PUZZLED) I still don't get it'.

CHARLEY: Maybe if we'd strike up that familiur old tune, "We're In the

Army Now", you'd understand’.

BILL: (ASTONISHED) You mean you want to enlist '.

CHARLEY: We sure do'. All of us'.

BILL: You mean the whole band?

CHARLEY: The whole band'. That is, if you'll enlist us together. Yfe're

all of legal age, all single, not a dependent among us, all healthy, — (PAUSE) Of course, if the United States Regular Army can't use a good band on a three year hitch ---

BILL: (STUPIFIED) Can't use a band'. Can't use a------Hey'. Sergeant

Lawrence, give me twenty-five enlistment blanks '.

CHARLEY: All right, men, — let's sign off us civilians with a marching tune'. On the down beat — ready? Let's go------------------ '

MUSIC: THEME UP AND OUT

12-13-12

ANNCR: And so we leave Sergeant Harris signing up the recruits for

the regular United States Army at 323 Main Post Office Building, Next week at this same hour KOIN will present another in this series of Soldiers of the Air. Tonight's program was written by the Oregon Writers' Project of the Work Projects Administration and produced by members of the Youth Theatre Guild. The cast included:

Listen again next Monday night at ten fifteen over this station when you will again hear --—

SOUND: TELEPHONE BELL

BILL: Army Recruiting Service. Sergeant Harris speaking.

MUSIC: THEME UP AND OUT

Extent

13 pages

Contributors

Digital Publisher

Multnomah County Library

Subject.Topic

Subject.Place

Portland, Oregon

Language

English

Rights & Usage

No known rights (no copyright or related rights are known to exist for this work).

Identifier

JWtxt_001523

Type

Text

Date.Created

October 6, 1941

Shelf.Location

O358.4 F29 Apr-Nov 1941

Source.Collection

John Wilson Special Collections