Soldiers of the Air, November 24, 1941

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Series 2 number 13 of a weekly radio program that aired on Portland radio station KOIN. This week's program was about a potential recruit interested in enlisting in the Signal Corps.

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i "2,

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UNITED STATES ARMY RECRUITING SERVICE

Nov. 24, 1941---------— KOIN 10:45 PL

SOLDIERS OF THE AIR

ANNCR: KOIN presents ------------- Soldiers of the Air I

MUSIC: THEME "SECOND CONNECTICUT REGIMENT" (475) UP AND FADE TO BACK-

GROUND™

ANNCRs It’s Thanksgiving week but oddly enough Sergeant Bill Harris of the United States Army Recruiting Service doesn’t see much to be thankful for. For one thing it’s raining — raining cats and dogs — He’s too old a soldier to complain — even about the weather -- but -------------- Well, there’s just one thing that

can bring the glad light of Thanksgiving to the sergeant’s eyes -- a recruit’. But -- what’s that? No recruit at all this rainy day? Well, not yet -- but — there goes the telephone bell and you know that means action to Sergeant Harris ----

SOUND: TELEPHONE BELL

BILL: Army Recruiting Service. Sergea.nt Harris speaking’.

WICKER: (VIA TELEPHONE) Testing the line. Testing the line, “hat is

your number please?

BILL: Atwater 6-1-7-1----The United States Army Recruiting Service’.

NICKER: Tests Okay, mister ---

BILL: (LAUGHING) Not mister, but Sergeant Harris'. (PAUSE) There’s

nothing wrong with our phone that I know of.

WICKER: Not a thing, Sergeant -- but -----

BILL: (ON THE SCENT OF A RECRUIT AS USUAL) But? But what?

WICKER: Funny thing — here I’m cutting in a couple of new lines and I

get in touch with the Army Recruiting Station '.

BILL: What's funny about it?

WICKER: Funny'. (LAUGHING) Look, Sergeant Karris -- I am sitting out

here in the ruin on top of a telephone pole, wishing I could

enlist in the Signal Corps — and bingo or drip-drip i Or maybe ting-u-ling — anyhow there's the army on the wire',

BILL: (LAUGHING) <uy, wrwrc arc you anyhow?

WICKER: If I'm not mistaken, I'm about u hundred feet from your window --

you ore- ill the main post office building, aren’t you?

BILL: Sure. Room 323.

WICKER- Well, hero I am -- up in the air

BILL: (LAUGHING) I know i You got up that telephone pole but you .an'-t

get down ---

WICKER: Say, Sergeant — if getting down from this polo was all I had to

worry about ----

BILL: Got a worry, eh?

WICKER: Worry'. Say I positively got a dilemma',

BILL: Sounds serious. Suppose you slide down the polo — do a hand

over hand along the wire to my ndndowp— or ——

WICKER: Okay, soldier '. Look out, pole. Here I come '.

SOUND: TELEPHONE RECEIVER CLIOKED INTO PLACE

BILL: Well, -- that's a new one'. Picking recruits right out of the

air. (PAUSE) Hoy, Sergeant Medbury, take the phone, will you?

MEDBURY: (OFF MIKE) I guess I just as well be on the telephone. This typewriter's got me goofy. (FADING IN) It just won't do what my fingers tell it to.

BILL: I sent for u typewriter repair man. He'll be here any minute -

just keep him out of my way while I sign up this telephone guy,

will you?

2-2-2

MED3URY: Look'. Hers comes — well -- look at the Spirit of Optimism.

With a repair kit — must be the typewriter repair mm. (.AL ING)

Hero, give me those head phones.

men and soldiers . Greetings and salutations from the Typewriter

Service Co.. Came to fix your typewriter.. Hume's Oliver Under-

wood’. (LAUGHING SLYLY) Net bad, huh? Underwood typ-m/rr.er : Get it? (LAUGHS AG.ilN)

BILL: Sure, but ---

UNDER: Have a smoke, soldier I A corona-corona I

BILL: No, thunks. Wo don't

UNDER: Don't thank me! Thank my girl Elsie Smith from the Woodstock

district: (LAUGHING) Good, huh? Very good! (BRIEF PAUSE,

THEN IN COMPLETE CHANGE OF VOICE) Well, what's wrong with the mill?

BILL: Mill?

UNDER: Sure — mill — machine — typewriter'. (FACETIOUS AGAIN) What's

the trouble? ^oes it type your wife's name on your girl's letter?

BILL: (DRYLY) Not precisely. When we type "dear sir" it comes out

looking like "dear -- smudge".

UNDER: And you don't want smudges in the army?

BILL: (LAUGHING) No smudges. In our business even the machines have

to be perfect ----

UNDER: What do you mean even the machines?

BILL: I mean we won't settle for anything loss than the best. Now you

take the army ----

UNDER: Naw, you take it! You already got it and you have to take it.

Me, I don't '.. Independent----that's mo — I mean to leave it

alone.

3-3-3

BILL: Well, I guess that's that. (PAUSE) Let's get buck to the uype-

writor. The trouble of it is, the keys pile up.

UNDER: Elementary, sergeant'. Elementary'. Leave it to Noiseless Under-

wood. That's mo, — Noiselessl Good, huh.?

BILL: (DRYLY) Sounds to mo us if it would, be quite perfect You

noiseless, I moon I

UNDER: (UNAWARE HE IS BEING SQUELCHEti) Say, sergeant! That's h.Hqd,

Very good indeed. Well, one side, soldier, while I fix he: p.

If Noiseless Underwood can't make ’er run she must L-

snail '. Give me a sheet of paper, will you?

BILL: Hero, take this enlistment blank.

UNDER: Thunks, buddy'. (FADINj)

SOUND: Placing PAPER ON ROLL i®P_RW£MG IT INTO THE MACHINE

UNDER: Now to go into the silence ----

BILL: (JOKINGLY) Not a chance'.

UNDER: (LAUGHING) Me — not the machine '. 1*11 just subside to a mutter '.

I sort of like to mutter while I "work-----

SOUND: 'PECKING ON TYPEWRITER KEYS AS UNDER WORKS

BILL: Quito a mutter's boy, aren’t you?

UNDER: Tch'. Teh, sergeant, you sound subversive'. (FADING TO SOUND

OF TYPING) Mutter's boy'. Say, I'm nobody's boy. Independent, that's me '.

BILL: No dependents?

UNDER: (OFF THE MIKE AD TYPING) Huh-uh.

SOUND: RAPID TYPING, THEN ABRUPT STOP

UNDER: (STILL OFF MIKE) Su-uy, Sergeant, is the stuff on this blank

I'm typing on the questions the recruits answer when they enlist?

(PAUSE) You know — name — address — mamma — papa------------

BILL: Yes, a recruit answers all those questions.

UNDER: (OFF MIKE) Well, I guess I can fill in questions for a test of

this machine. You know we usually test i. machine by writing (ORaTORICaLLY) Mow is the time for all good men to cone to t-iv aid of their party — Now is the time —

BILL: Now is the time for mo to go to work. Eure comes that telephone

prospect. Go ahead and mutter, Underwood, and I'll sign that repair orkr later. Right now I've get to talk to th...t fllew coming down the hall..

UNDER: You mean the < no that's 'wearing a harness?

BILL: Yes, he's a telephone lino man.

UNDER: Okay, I'll h..ve this machine singing in a jiffy ----

SOUND; TYPING INTERMITTENTLY UNDER./OOP ..'ORKS

BILL: (SLIGHTLY LOUDER) Right in hero, mister -- you must bo the

fellow that was phoning me.

'NICKER: (FaDING IN) Sure, that’s mo. Nicker, — Alvin Wicker. Up a

pole and down again, that's my dish I But right now I'm up a stump -- and that's different.

BILL: Well, at the moment we're fresh ..ut of stump pullers but we'll

do what we cun for y--u. Whit's the trouble?

WICKER: It's like I phoned you. I want t enlist but I can't do it,

BILL: Why not?

WICKER: I've got tw- dependents. At least they're dependent for the

tine being. If it wasn't for that, why I'd grub one <f those enlistment blanks and ---

UNDER* (SLIGHTLY OFF MIKE AS HE TYPES) Name?

WICKER: Alvin Wicker — but ------

UNDER: Wicker -- (TYPING) Hey — same.no's crazy. My name's Underwood',

WICKER: Gosh, I thought you was asking me my name.

5-5-5

BILL: Nc, that's just Noiseless Underw d, the typewriter repair nun. He's fluttering over an enlistment blank os ho tries out trot machine

SOUND: DICKER: TYPERRITER CLICKING Loll, as I w;.s saying if it wasn't f: r ny sister in school <md ny mother I'd sign up this minute.

BILL: (SYMPATHETICALLY) Maybe you're d - ing just as much go d for Uncle San right whore y u ore. Re've got to keep up our communication systems you know

RICKER: That's just it. I read ub ut the Signal Corps and — gosh ■■ I’d like t get in on that '. Thy, in one amcred division alone they've got over seven hundred r; dies and telephones and say, wouldn't I like to gut in n that rudi -telephone business '.

BILL: The Signal Corps could certainly use a nan like you but

RICKER: ’Roll, as sem us I seel a piece f pr party I've got, I'll bo in uniform, I can pr niso y u th. t. I'm going to be one of th sc guys cut in front

BILL: ’./hat'd y u mean — cut in front?

RICKER: I mean the soldiers cut in fr nt of the main force -- setting up communication -- reconnaissance —

UNDER: (SLIGHTLY OFF MIKE) Ever been arrested '.

RICKER: (EMPHATICALLY) No I I've never been -- ch, excuse me'. That gu£' s got me bothered.

BILL: Rhat about this piece of property you mentioned?

UNDER: (OFF MIKE) I/hut was your last job? Hey, that’s a good .mol Ly lust job didn't last so I get this erne and it's lusted so which is ny lust job? G< od, huh?

BILL: ’loll, at least, Underwood, it's not so bud as sumo cf the other jokes you've pulled in the last ten minutes. IR.w's the repair job coining? 6-6-6

UNDER: Fine. (FADING IN) I think I git her purring new. Givu n. an./thor

blank. I got this ■■ne full of "N w is the tine for all g >. d ion to cone to the aid of their country. Now is the time for all good non to c me t< the aid of their country ------ Say, that's

funny I

‘.7ICKER: what's funny about it? I think it's c. swell idea.

UNDER: It's funny because I meant t ? write p-.rty c? me to the • ..d f

the party — You knew — that old testing line. Jmd I wrot'. country --- Gosh I It looks like fate hud a hand in this -

NICKER: Well, I wish fate would take a hand and sell that hunk ,:f kc”. out cn the Peninsula for ne. If I c.uld find the right buyer, I c- uld get enough for Sis and lion to live cn the income and I’d enlist —-

BILL: Would you like to take a lo >k ...t ne of the blanks, just in case

things work out for you. Here, take this one ------

WICKER: Thunks, I'd like to. L ■ ks simple enough but -------

UNDER: Give me one ten. (FADING) I’ll nuke a final test of this

machine.

SOUND:___PiiPER BEING ROLLED INTO TYPEWRITER, THEN nD JUS TED

BILL: Sorry I can’t advise you n the UNDER: Name? (PECKS ON TYPE-

real estate, dicker, but — Oliver -- Underwood

DICKER: Ivlaybe if I menti n the land UNDER: Age? (PECKING ON TYFE-

everywhere I cut in a new pheno ' JRITER ) Twenty-three.

someone will buy it. Nice age if you. ask me '.

BILL: That's the idea'. Or advertise UNDER: Any dependents? (INDIG-

it. NANTLY) That's three

times I've answered that

question No, none '.

7-7-7

NICKER: (LAUGHING) Ch well, maybe a buyer is sitting ‘n top of the next telephone pole. Who knows? UNDER: References? (CHUCKLES. AND TYPES) Sure 1 Sure

BILL: (LAUGHING) Well, that s not so ft r fetched. That's where I found you

WICKER: I sure wish I knew of a buyer -- UNDER: Education 1 Two yc..\! in college; ga.'...o.. IN EWHaTICALI.Y) I guess I can take cure cf thati

WICKER: (ASTONISHED) You cun? Yu neon y.u know cf a buyer

UNDER: Huh? i«'hat ’ s that ?

BILL: Wicker thought you meant y u knew f u buyer for his property cut on the Peninsula.

UNDER: (FADING IN) Property cut on Peninsula?

WICKER: Yes. I want to sell five acres --

UNDER: Elementary '. Elementary i

■TICK ER: You mean you do knew someone who aunts to buy l

BILL: (aDMONISHING) This isn't a joking nutter, Undvrwt • d. icker wants to sell in order tr establish a trust fund to cure for his sister and mother. Then he cun enlist —

UNDER: WICKER: I’ei not joking. This morning I was over doing some work for the Universal Flange Corporation. I heard the president saying that they wore going to expand -- and wanted an industrial site on Peninsula. Maybe they That's all I need to know'. I'll be seeing you (FADING) Get that enlistment blank ready and sharpen your pencil 8-8-8

UNDER: Gosh '. Look at that guy sprint I

BILL: (HAPPILY) Yep. That's the way we like 'em to come into t’?e army Begging for training

UNDER: And panting to sign on the dotted line huh?

BILL: (LAUGHING) Sure 1 (PAUSE) Noll, how’s the typewriter? Get it fixed up?

UNDER: (PANTS AUDIBLY SEVERAL.SHORT GUSTY BREnTHS;

BILL: (CHUCKLING) Say, what is this — I asked you if the macnir-. ■ ’> in order and you start puffing I

UNDER: (BETWEEN PANTS) Not puffing: Panting.

BILL: I don't get it. -That are you punting for?

UNDER: (CONTINUES PANTING) Punting for a pencil I This machine fills in all the blanks but dog gene it won't sign my name'.

BILL: (ASTONISHED) ..'hat's that?

UNDER: Here, give -a look at this enlistment blank you gave mo to test the typo on. I got that machine purring

BILL: Give it to me. (Fi.USE) Why, you — you filled it out I

UNDER: Sure I That machine knew more than I did’. It just naturally filled in those answers for rao — and now -- the machine'.: purring .and I'm panting

BILL: (INCREDULOUSLY) Panting to enlist?

UNDER: Uh-huh '.

BILL: Loll, I'll be Hey, Sergeant Medbury'. Give this guy a pencil'. Quick '.

MUSIC: THEME UP uND OUT

ANNCR: And so we lo.vc Sargeant Harris signing up another recruit for the regular United States Army .,t 323 Main Post Office Building. Next week at this Same hour KOIN will present another in this scries of Soldi rs of the Air.

9-9-9

* t

-tiWCR: Tonight’s program wus written by the Or .gon Writers’ Project of

the Jerk Projects Administration and produced by members of the Portland Civic Theatre. The cost included.:

Listen again next Monday night ..t ton forty-five over thio station when you vrill .Again hour-----

SOUND: TELEPHONE BELL

BILL: Amy Recruiting Service, Sergo..nt Harris speaking.

MUSIC: THEME UP ..ND OUT

Extent

10 pages

Contributors

Digital Publisher

Multnomah County Library

Subject.Topic

Subject.Place

Portland, Oregon

Language

English

Rights & Usage

No known rights (no copyright or related rights are known to exist for this work).

Identifier

JWtxt_001527

Type

Text

Date.Created

November 24, 1941

Shelf.Location

O358.4 F29 Apr-Nov 1941

Source.Collection

John Wilson Special Collections